It’s a weird picture I know but I didn’t want to go with the usual flag shit.
I know that how you dress doesn’t have to reflect your gender, but if a person (i’ll use a female trans person as an example, since the only transgirls I know on here actually present as girls) says they’re transgender (especially on tumblr), yet still presents themselves in a way that would appear to everyone who didn’t know about their status as a trans person that they are cis (ie, a female trans person wearing makeup, dresses, presenting in a feminine way), then I’m inclined to believe they’ve got triple s.
Cis-looking trans people (or even cis-looking agender/bigender people???) - are you even trying to keep up the facade?
I’d still call them by their preferred pronouns and name but inside I’m not going to believe a word of it. I don’t see the point of trying so hard to get people to believe you’re so dysphoric and then don’t even bother trying to actually appear as that gender…
I didn’t want to say anything because I don’t want to be one of those users who get butthurt about things, but this post really did hurt my feelings. It may just be that you don’t know this, but there are a lot of gender dysphoric people out there that just don’t have the chance to dress the way they want. For example, I know this beautiful transgender girl named Jessie, she is the girliest person I’ve ever met, but she is forced to dress like a boy because her parents don’t approve of her dysphoria. To them she is a boy because she was born that way, because ‘god gave her a dick and that’s just the way it’s meant to be’. She is not allowed to dress the way she would want to (like a girl) and if she does or her parents find feminine things in her possession she gets severely punished. But to my last breathe I will refer to and think of her as a female because she’s not allowed to have that happiness even though it’s what she is on the inside even if her outside doesn’t reflect it.
I would also like to give an example of a transgender male; myself. I wear men’s clothes, I wear a binder, I have a traditionally male haircut, I act like a dude, talk like a dude, and feel like a dude. Despite all of this I don’t look like a dude. I just have one of those faces that are glaringly female and I end up looking like a lesbian. And no matter how long I’ll be on hormones, no matter how short I cut my hair, no matter what clothes I choose to wear, no matter how much weight I lose or muscle I gain I don’t look male and that’s already something I know all too well. But to have someone lie to me saying they’ll accept me knowing who and what I am when they really don’t “believe a word of it” no matter how hard I try is really disheartening. And I’m really sorry I don’t look like the gender I identify as. I’m sorry you think the way people like me uphold our appearance as a façade rather then a truth (“façade" literally meaning "a deceptive outward appearance.”) I’m sorry if it makes you feel like I’m lying to you, so much so that you say you can’t believe people like me who just can’t seem to pass. I’m really sorry if the way I show my dysphoria offends you because I really don’t mean to offend you, but I also don’t want you to think of the way I go about my life as a lie.
'are you even trying to keep up the facade' hahaha fuck you. it's not a facade, it's my identity. people act like 'passing' as the gender you are is everything, but that's fucking bullshit. there are cis women who 'look male' and there are cis men who 'look female,' there are intersex people who appear to be binary. trans people don't need your approval to be 'real.' is it that hard to believe for you? is it actually hard for you to look at someone who appears stereotypically male and believe that they are a woman? you're an asshole.
Not only are all the points made above 100% valid, but it can be exhausting to try to present as your preferred gender. Especially if you put forth a lot of effort and still don’t pass. Speaking from personal experience, wearing a binder every day gets really uncomfortable. It’s physically draining to try to put so much thought into whether or not people are “buying” your “façade” as you call it. Which leads me to believe that in reality you hold no respect for Trans people at all. If all their appearance is to you is a deception.
Sometimes people just want to wear something comfortable, and to be told that suddenly my identity is invalid because I chose not to bind today is really hurtful and honestly really upsetting.
As someone who rarely ever passes in public I struggle 100% of the time deciding if I want to put physical comfort over mental comfort when choosing what to wear on any given day.
Plus your theory completely dismisses the entire concept of gender fluidity and upholds a rigorous binary that not all people fit into.
None of us are “fake” when we decide to wear clothing typical of our biological sex, and it’s insulting that you seem to think so.
I know there have probably been a ton of comments along the same lines as thins, but this is something I encounter a lot and I just wanted to input my two cents. Please think about the kind of repercussions and implications comments like yours can have. You are telling real people that despite the things they know about themselves, the way they dress trumps everything and that you respect them so little that you actually believe the societal stereotypes implied by their clothing rather than the words coming out of their mouths.